Disclaimer: I know that we are resilient and adaptive to hard times. I am going to go deep into my feelings and really contemplate what this has awoken and what path to walk next. Thx for listening…
FOSTA/SESTA was the last blow to the SW industry, which has a death count at itʻs worst, a silver lining; further encryptions in communication, privacy measures such as the oversea server I use, and thankfully collective care groups springing forth to strengthen the SW community, like BAWS. I wonder what good will come to be A.C After Corona. How are you doing? What stage of Quarantine are you? I have taken the time to really feel and grieve.
Before I sob let me preface that I am aware of my privilege being able-bodied, very much so straight/white presenting and coming from a first gen college finishing parents, getting educated myself was inevitable. I didnʻt earn any of these privileges (besides paying & completing my degree) yet they have helped me walk through numerous doors in the capitalist, white supremist, patriarchial, heteronormative world we inhabit. I entered this industry 7 years ago amid school and me first life crisis. I excel in the world of taboo and found my place as a Sensual provider suiting my strength and character like a superheroʻs tights.
The ordinance of Shelter-In, Alameda County has me on lockdown, and in thoughts recognizing my privilege and what to do with it, I am also grappling with the reality of temperance and feelings of being stripped of my need/love/hunger for touch and connection. I love working hands on, manipulating the body and energy in the room to share a state of bliss we can milk, far after the last goodbye. Letʻs send a communal prayer that the ban is lifted soon. I am looking to provide Online GFE services letʻs share some wine, a dance class, book readings, and sexy times!
Despite my privilege the margins of criminalization and stigma ensue in the intersections of my work and personal life. My family believes me to work at Planned Parenthood, getting paid time off… You know more truth than my kin… I am struggling in an invisible stew voiceless, churned by capitalism, brewing on about how I left my homeland 3,000 miles away…. When I was 21 I found convenience and opportunity in joining forces with a friend and lover that sheltered me when I was shoulder to shoulder on a futon living room floor with my young brother. We arranged a marriage that would provide me support for the last 2 years she had left to serve the Navy in return I would supply my bread winnings in two years henceforth, with an additional exchange of receiving a portion of their GI bill. The educational credits would never pan through with policy chances, I supported us when I left home for 3 years in Salt Lake City, San Jose and finally a separation in Oakland. Throughout it all, I regret that I wasnʻt financially mature with the agility of financial assertive confidence, I passed the torch for the management of billing, paperwork and finances. When our relationship ended (look out for my Polyamourous Blog explaining deets) I became accountable for the lack of involvement I settled with financially, accepting the consequences of my young naivete. Now with the reins fully in my hands, this new life lease to life 2020 feelings like nothing could hold me back!
Income the historical plot twist of the novel Corona and my optimism for the year can be summed with the picture below.
Why universe….? What lessons will manifest 2 months from now? Whom will take in my bunnies? Will I tell my folks the extent of my lies or settle for a “I got laid off”
I love the irony in that word play…. #dark humor
Duration + intensity of the POSSIBILITY of negative events to happen, need not be watered or fed. I want to feed the positive voice saying I can carry-on, that the dating culture will persist! Heck we have all dealt with the threat of viruses before, but since the loss of my main source of income 90% the negative voice in my head is transforming to a godly message telling me to diverge. Find a new path…
As a stay at home entrepreneur and introvert, I have some calming activities for your #quarantinelife
Psychological immunity is important to foster in this time…
Come up with an intentional strategy when thoughts begin to spiral:
Color in a pussy book or dick
Take an herbal bath
Donate to BAWS
Check into my OnlyFans
Create multiple Amazon accounts to get free Audible credits (for a friend)
Locate what makes your body feel grounded, righteous, & aligned to effect your special purpose.
Some resources for you to enjoy…letʻs incorporate them into a video call?
https://9gag.com Forever entertained lots of male humor. I LOVE it!
This article (once you click just scroll down) Has a list of free or trial period work out https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/gym-closed-here-are-some-free-or-discounted-workouts-do-ncna1159931
Free IvyLeague Courses: https://www.coursera.org
Virtual Rave https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkTY1uTl85s
Living Well Podcast https://www.living-open.com/podcast
Letʻs do these courses together, you pay for the course and pay nothing else to share the learning space ensemble (Tantra, Herbal, Kink)